Safer Sex Explained
Safer sex means taking the necessary precautions during sex and foreplay to reduce the risk of transmitting an infection.
Safer sex takes away the worries and fears of catching sexually transmitted infections and protects you and your partners.
This section will give you all the information you need to make sure that you always have safer sex.
What is safe sex?
If you are aware of how HIV and other sexually transmitted infections are passed from one person to another it will help you know what risks you are taking, and put you in a good position to decide what precautions to take during sex.
During sex, the fluids that can infect someone with HIV are:
- Seminal fluid (semen/sperm)
- Vaginal fluids, including menstrual fluids
- Fluid in the anus
- Blood
- Breast milk
Other body fluids, like saliva, sweat or urine, do not contain enough of the HIV virus to infect another person.
Safe sex means two things:
1. Making sure these body fluids don’t pass from anyone else into your body
2. Preventing these bodily fluids passing from your body into any one else’s
What precautions can I take?
Condoms are the easiest and most effective way to prevent HIV and other infections from being transmitted during sex.
The best condoms for sexual intercourse are lubricated latex condoms. Using lubricant will make things go smoother and give you added protection by helping to prevent the condom breaking.
Lubricant must be water-based as oil can break latex condoms. Vaseline, hand creams or lotions all contain oil so must not be used as a lubricant. Also, treatments for some infections contain oil and can break latex.
You can buy water-based lubricant and condoms at the chemist and sexual health clinics usually offer them for free.
Make sure you read the instructions inside the condom packet carefully as opening the foil packet incorrectly or using the condom incorrectly can prevent them from providing adequate protection against infection.
For a step by step guide to using condoms, take a look at the How To Use A Condom section of this site.
Talking about condoms
Some people find it embarrassing to talk about condoms; by not talking about them, you are exposing yourself to many health risks. If you think of ways to approach the subject before hand, it will help you to have safe sex every time, without feeling nervous or embarrassed about using condoms.
The person you are thinking about having sex with may not want to try and use a condom when you have sex. If you have clear answers to their reasons for not wanting to use them, you can encourage them to have safe sex and protect themselves and you.
Common Excuses |
Reply |
Don’t you trust me |
I do trust you but many people have infections without realising it. Up to a third of those with HIV do not know they have the virus. |
Condoms reduce the pleasure of sex for me |
Then we should think of other ways to make it better, it’s better than taking risks |
I don't have a condom with me |
Well I do |
I'm on the pill, you don't need a condom |
I'd like to use it anyway. It will help to protect us from any infections we may not realise we have. |
I love you, we don’t need condoms |
Love is about protecting each other. We may have infections and not realise. |
I want to try sex without a condom, just once |
Even if you have unprotected sex once you can still catch infections |
Many people wrongly assume that a partner will not want to talk about condoms. In fact, your partner may be relieved that you’ve taken the initiative - they might be making assumptions about you too. Maybe they’ve just got carried away in the heat of the moment and forgotten to discuss them. Talking to your partners is the first step to protecting each other.
Oral Sex
HIV can be passed on during oral sex if a condom isn’t used but the risk is much lower than for penetrative sex.
Advice to reduce the risk further includes:
- Avoid oral sex if the lining of your mouth or throat is inflamed or damaged (e.g. bleeding gums, mouth ulcers, a sore throat, or you've bitten your tongue)
- Don't brush your teeth or use mouthwash immediately before oral sex
